When I was 11, my grandpa got very
sick. We didn't know until the very end but he had been fighting bone
cancer for a long time and it hadn't been treated because the doctors
insisted it was just diabetes complications. He was in hospice at
home and I remember visiting and trying to avoid sitting in the
living room because it was just too depressing to see the once vibrant
man lying on the sofa hardly able to move. I also distinctly remember
a “hospital smell” that didn't help things at all. One of the
times we visited, I sneaked out of the house without going and saying
good-bye. He died before I could see him again.
At 18, my grandpa died unexpectedly. My
family was living in Europe at the time and only my mom was able to
fly back for the funeral. I didn't feel the guilt like I did the
first time because I hadn't chosen to ignore him but I still missed
it.
My grandpa is retiring this year from
his job as professor/choir director at my university. He has been one
of the biggest inspirations in my life for the past seven years. I
don't know how many classes I had with him in school (definitely more
than 12). He accompanied me on both my junior and senior recitals as
well as many juries and concerts. We roadtripped with assorted other
music students to choral festivals. He was always ready to discuss
problems and help in any way he could. I felt a huge connection to
him from the very beginning which has only grown over the years. I could write on and on about this man and the impact he has had in my life but I'll sum it up pretty simply: if someday I am half the teacher he is, I will have done my job.
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| In front of University Choir |
When I heard that he was retiring, I
knew I had to make it home for his last concert. Thankfully, this was
a much happier occasion than a funeral but I knew I would always
regret it if I couldn't come. I wasn't going to let this opportunity
slip through my fingers. I kept my trip a secret from almost
everyone. I am friends with him on facebook so I was especially
careful not to mention anything on there. By the week before my trip
only four of my friends (and my immediate family) knew I would be in
the States.
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| Teaching philosophy: every lesson should have an "AAhh," "Ahha," and "Haha" moment |
Most of this blog post is being written
while I sit in airports before and between my flights going back to
Hungary. I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to travel home
for this concert. Yesterday, I spent most of the day in PA. I saw
friends who I haven't seen in years. I had a chance to catch up with
various professors. And, best of all, I saw the way his eyes
lit up in shock when he realized I had come from Hungary just for the
concert. He later mentioned it in the middle of the concert as he
spoke of how touched he was that so many music alums had made it.
“Someone even came all the way from Hungary. Yes, for real.” I
had multiple people come up to me after saying they had no idea I was
there until they heard what he said.
In the end, I wouldn't change a thing
about my trip. It was completely worth the cost and travel time even
though I was traveling nearly as long as my time in the US. Besides
the concert, I was able to spend time with another friend today
(Monday), see my therapist, had a dr. appt, ate tons of Mexican food,
enjoyed two full days of ungraded English conversation, purchased
more stickers for my students, had a phone interview about my
internship for next year, and spent time with my family. I've needed
this trip with how lonely I have been (I had two friends last
semester – one moved to Budapest, the other “broke up with me”
because she claims she has too many meetings to ever see me).
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| With some of the other "music kids" |
I might have messed things up the first
two times with my grandpas but I have nothing to regret about this
time.
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