True People of the Book

It’s been a crazy week to belong to the People of the Book (a beautiful Islamic term referring to followers of the three major Abrahamic religions). Between the worst attack on Jews in the United States to riots after the release of a Christian woman in Pakistan, there has been ugliness on all sides. It’s nearly an unbroken circle. 

“Christian” man attacks Jewish community.

“Muslims” riot after a Christian is released after being charged with blasphemy (the courts evaluated the evidence and found it contradictory and insufficient). 

All we need is a “Jewish” person to attack some Muslims and the circle of evil will be complete. (Since the internet makes it easy for people to misunderstand... I do NOT want that to happen)

It would be easy to simply put one’s head in one’s hands and hide under a rock. But that would be to miss the other half of the story. 

After the attack on the Pittsburgh synagogue, two Muslim organizations in the USA raised over $200,000 to fund the funerals of the victims. In addition, they have shown support beyond money by offering to protect their neighbors if they felt unsafe. 

Beyond the fact that justice was given to Asia Bibi by the courts, both the government of Pakistan and average citizens have spoken out against the violence. Yes, her situation is not yet resolved, but this is a positive step.

It’s not only Muslims and Jews who have been true People of the Book this week. Christians both in Pittsburgh and across the world have spoken out in support of the Pittsburgh community. In a coincidence that could only be from a higher power, every Catholic Church through out the world will proclaim today, not once, but twice, the words of the Shema, or most important Jewish prayer, from the book of Deuteronomy. How beautiful that our cycle of readings would have this specific text for today. I had the privilege of proclaiming these sacred words during Mass this morning in Guatemala.

"Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD alone! 

Therefore, you shall love the LORD, your God,
with all your heart,
and with all your soul,
and with all your strength. 

Take to heart these words which I enjoin on you today."

This is what People of the Book believe. Whether we call Him Elohim, God, or Allah, we believe He is God, the only God. I am honored to stand with my brothers and sisters, People of the Book, today as we pray for peace and justice.

This cool guy I met in Madrid

I promise that I will write about everything that happened during WYD, but if I had to sum it up... I'd have to simply tell you all about this guy that I met.

Before I left, at least two of my friends here made comments about how amazing it would be if I met someone in Madrid. Coming off of this summer (and the months leading up to it), I wasn't sure if I wanted that to happen or really hoped it wouldn't. Taking into account all the gory details not included in my blog post (and there were many, unfortunately, even continuing after the relationship ended), things just got really ugly. I understand that this guy was lashing out because he was hurt. However, that didn't make it any easier. Add in a heavy dose of "Catholic guilt" due to some rad-trad beliefs that he has and I was a mess. Although I doubt he meant to, some things that I heard over and over again really gave me a beating. These aren't doctrines or dogma. Nothing that is essential to Catholic teaching. To sum it up... I do not believe that a woman has to wear a high-necked shirt with a long skirt and a veil to be modest. Modesty is awesome, don't get me wrong. And I definitely consider myself modest. But, when I'm subjected to talk about legalistic rules, I want nothing more than to put on a bikini and go to the beach. When Jesus appears to me and tells me that I must only wear blouses dipping no lower than two finger widths below the pit of my throat and a skirt that fully covers my knees while sitting or standing, I'll listen to Him. Until then, I'll have to keep fighting this ridiculous guilt over nothing. Honestly, when I think about it, what comes to mind is Eowyn's comment to Wormtongue in the Two Towers: "Your words are poison!" ... minus the evil intent.

What does any of that have to do with WYD in Madrid?

Well, my friends were right - sort of. I did meet a guy in Madrid. But then, I've known Him for years. Even so, I really needed the week away with Him. Jesus is the only one who can heal my heart and clean up this mess that I've gotten into. And WYD was the beginning of that. Through the people around me, speakers, bishops, Papa Ben (of course!), and just the general atmosphere, He was present in so many ways. But nothing compares to the sacraments. I was blessed to spend time in adoration twice (technically thrice if you count the Saturday vigil but I wasn't participating in that much for reasons which I'll get into later) -- there is nothing more beautiful than gazing at the very face of God and letting Him gaze back at you... except for receiving Him at Mass. I really needed to go to confession (yet another very tangible expression of His love) and had the chance - finally - on Friday morning. While I don't recommend getting into such a situation, after not being able to receive Communion before I went to the sacrament of reconciliation, it was incredible to to to Mass directly after. Although knowing that I was still so unworthy, being able to welcome Christ into a "freshly cleaned house" was priceless.

SO, was my future husband in Madrid? No clue. I kind of doubt it, even though I met some awesome people and there were more than a million who I didn't meet, but I don't know for sure. And, theoretically, there is always the option of religious life... although there really aren't many opera singing nuns. In any case, the week was spent rediscovering the love of the One who has always loved me and can never stop and, especially right now, that was better than being with anyone else.

Because I'm lazy and indecisive and insecure ...

... that's why I'm Catholic.

(inspired by Bible study... if you are part of that group and happen to be reading, I don't intend this as an attack, at all. I'm sorry if it comes across as such. I'm just glad things are a little simpler for me. Also, the title is inspired by a blog that I've been reading -- I'm not actually implying that Catholics are lazy, indecisive, and/or insecure.)

OK...

Another heated debate at Bible Study. This time it was over the 7th (8th) commandment against stealing. We started with a question: "Why is studying the Bible dangerous?" The leader was looking for "because sometimes it challenges you to change things in your life that you don't want to." Another answer, however, could be "because people's personal interpretations can be vastly different and it's easy to get into an argument if there is not absolute authority - aside from the words which everyone is reading and interpreting differently."

I don't want to get into who was right or wrong or what views are correct. Partly, because that's not what this post is about and partly because I'm not sure. But here's the thing. I don't have to make that call. I've got a place I can go to find out. All I need to do is pull out a copy of the CCC (Catechism of the Catholic Church) and it's spelled out for me.

On a related note, confession was touched on tonight. Not the sacrament, obviously, but the fact that it is important to confess to both God and the person you've wronged. And that confession isn't easy. That's true. But, even though I don't go as often as I should, once I get through the hard part, I hear my favorite prayer (outside of the Mass):

God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of his Son has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins; through the ministry of the Church may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Yes, in the name and authority of God, I get to hear a human voice tell me that my sins are gone. There is no worrying "did God actually hear my prayer and forgive me?" or "how do I know if I'm really forgiven?" I don't have to wait for a voice in my head to convince me that I'm free. My mind doesn't have to struggle with "did God actually say that or was I just making it up so I'll feel better?" -- because if I couldn't hear an actual person saying those words that's what I would struggle with. But, it's all a moot point, because - for better or worse (but, honestly that's a silly statement here) - I'm Catholic. And I couldn't be more thankful.

It's all Latin to me

After wanting to for years but never making any sort of real effort, I went to my first EF (Extraordinary Form - TLM) Mass this afternoon.

WOW.

If I'm completely honest (which I try to be), I was pretty sure I would go, think "hmm.. that's interesting," and that would be the end of it. Yes, Jesus is there just like at any OF (Ordinary Form - NO) Mass, but everything I knew about it just sounded stuffy. The picture in my mind was a bunch of little old ladies sitting in the pews muttering their rosaries while the priest mumbled for an hour with his back turned. Even having gotten a "play-by-play" from a friend last night so I would know what was going on, I was expecting to be sitting there not really knowing what was happening. Not the best mindset... but, nevertheless, there I was, walking into the Parish Church of Our Lady (around the corner... about three blocks from my flat) just in time for noon Mass.

Funny how God takes expectations and completely busts them up sometimes.

I could not have imagined how beautiful, ritualistic, and reverent it was. Far from sitting in the pew twiddling my thumbs, I was so drawn into the prayer. A couple of things I really didn't expect
~ We did actually say some of the responses, sing part of the kyrie and all of the creed. I was most glad that the end of the doxology was audible and so we all chanted the Amen - my second favorite part of the Mass. --It's part of my whole view of the Mass as a love story.... you've got the early relationship/love letters through the introductory rites and liturgy of the Word, a proposal at the Consecration and then the Amen is like vows before the full unity of receiving the Eucharist.... seems funny to not actually say "I do (believe)" before that. (Yes, this probably isn't exactly "correct" theology ... but beyond sharing it here I'm not teaching it or expecting anyone to get the same insight from it)

~The music was all sung by a quartet that I've heard occasionally at daily Mass at the Franciscan church. They specialize in 15th-16th century Hapsburg sacred music. My friend, Liz, and I were sitting in the back and were right next to them.... Heavenly.

~The reading from Ephesians and the Gospel were both chanted in Hungarian. I understood bits of the first one but couldn't make out what the Gospel was about beyond that it was Hungarian and not Latin. I wasn't sure what language they would be in because I've heard different things from different people about the readings being done in Latin and/or English (in this case, Hungarian).

~Next time (yes, I will definitely be going again sometime), I'm going to sit closer to the front so I can see better. I'll also look up the readings ahead of time!

~After receiving the Eucharist, I felt Christ's presence more strongly than I can ever remember. I know it's not about "feeling" but it was as if He was with me saying "BAM! ... Hey, Rose, I'm right here. Not just somewhere around here but right here."

~The movement (priest and servers) was so carefully "choreographed." It just ran so smoothly -- that's the kind of thing I notice with all my theatre training. (And not just onstage ... if I'm running a quick change that isn't properly choreographed my performer may not end up on stage to do the "actual" staging)

~On a similar note, the purple vestments with gold brocade were simply beautiful and even matched the chalice veil.

Anyway, not at all what I expected and I'm sure I'll be going again.

I'm Thankful

I'm thankful for the privilege of having known Mamma Sue.

I'm thankful for the way the Internet allows me to stay connected with people in the US.

I'm thankful that no one I talk to regularly lives in MST or PST.

I'm thankful for my dear friend and "twin," Jen, and for the many ways God has made her a blessing in my life.

I'm thankful for getting to see a long awaited flower begin to blossom... even from thousands of miles away.

I'm thankful that I have never had to deal with a serious injury or illness.

I'm thankful for the people in my life who make me want to be a better person.

I'm thankful for the ways I've grown this year (both the past 12 months and 2011 so far).

I'm thankful that I have a job.

I'm thankful that I live in a city I love.

I'm thankful that I have health insurance.

I'm thankful that I speak enough Hungarian to (usually) get by.

I'm thankful for my "commute" which provides Rosary time built into my day.

I'm thankful that it is so easy to get to daily Mass.

I'm thankful for my imagination and for my will and reason which help keep it in check when it tried to run wild.

I'm thankful for God's sense of humor... yes, even in those times when I feel I'm the punch line of His latest joke.

I'm thankful that it's been warmer this past week, especially since I turned my heat up because I'm sick.

I'm thankful that I was raised in a Catholic home but also that I've had the chance to choose it for myself.

I'm thankful for Skype.

I'm thankful that I decided to write this list rather than complaining about some corollaries of these statements.

I'm thankful for (and excited about!) my upcoming trip to Sweden with Deb :)

I'm thankful for my family and friends (yes, I know this is basically a "given" but still good to state).

I'm thankful for movies that are available online and for the work my Dad is doing on finding a proxy or filter so I can watch American TV.

I'm thankful for my Mom's health and that we have gotten closer in the past few years.

I'm thankful for the perspective Teresa often gives me when we talk (is she really three years younger?).

I'm thankful for fun "Watching Biggest Loser via Skype" times with Miriam.

I'm thankful for the colorful, funny letters Helen has sent... and that she hasn't complained when I've not responded :(

I'm thankful that John is being a pen pal with my Year 5 students.

I'm thankful for the girls I met in college who are still my closest friends: it's true what people say - I didn't go to college to meet my husband, I went to meet my bridesmaids.

But, most of all ...

I'm thankful for all that God has done and is doing in my life, for the way that He always provides what I need, and for the many ways He constantly reminds me how much He loves me.

**** Please pray for my friend's family as they mourn the loss of their amazing mother ****

Never Been Unloved

Sometimes, God looks at us, wrestling with the latest problem or worry, and knows that we are too stressed to listen for His small voice. Rather than abandoning or simply being silent, He can also speak through those people and things around us. Riding home from work today, God choose to speak through my mp3 player. As soon as the song started, I knew it was what I needed to hear, but listening to the lyrics, it was even more meaningful than I could have guessed. Hearing the song didn't fix anything. It didn't make things any easier or change situations. But, along with being a message by itself, it reminded me of the verse below. No matter what, there is nothing that can happen or I can do which will make God love me less. That is a beautiful thing.

"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, not present things, nor future things, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor an other creature will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

Never Been Unloved: Michael W. Smith

I have been unfaithful
I have been unworthy
I have been unrighteous
And I have been unmerciful

I have been unreachable
I have been unteachable
I have been unwilling
And I have been undesirable

And sometimes I have unwise
I've been undone by what I'm unsure of
But because of You
And all that You went through
I know that I have never been unloved

I have been unbroken
I have been unmended
I have been uneasy
And I've been unapproachable

I've been unemotional
I've been unexceptional
I've been undecided
And I have been unqualified

Unaware
I have been unfair
I've been unfit for blessings from above
But even I can see
The sacrifice You made for me
To show that I have never been unloved

It's because of You
And all that You went through
I know that I have never been unloved